Men Seeking Men: Discreet M4M Fun With Curious Guys
Tick Male under who you want to meet and keep the rest private.
Every Kind of Curious Is Welcome
Gay, bi, bi curious or straight but curious, men seeking men are welcome on My Bisexual Secret. It is a bisexual site rather than a gay one, so nobody asks you to pick a label. Tick Male under who you want to meet, go by a username and arrange discreet m4m meets at your own pace.
With men making up nearly nine in ten members, there are plenty of guys to browse, and your daily matches take account of distance and the kind of fun you are after.
Away with work? VIP lets you search by city, so you can line up a chat before you land in Cape Town or New York. Weighing us up against Grindr? See how we compare. Straight but curious? Start gently with bi curious dating.
Your First M4M Meet in Five Easy Steps
- Tick Male. It sits under who you want to meet on the sign-up. Fancy women or couples as well? Tick those too, and read about meeting bisexual women or bisexual couples.
- Keep your profile low-key. Pick a username that gives nothing away, then add tags such as Discreet Meets, First Time Encounter or Straight Curious so the right men know what you are after.
- Get your blue tick. A free ID check puts it on your profile, and a live video check with a moderator, no documents needed, shows you match your photos. Look for the tick on the men you talk to, too.
- Chat on the site first. Keep messages here until you feel sure of him. If someone pushes to switch to WhatsApp or another messaging app, a warning pops up, because that is a classic scam move. VIP means unlimited messages.
- Meet somewhere public. A drink in a busy bar or a coffee in town is ideal. Let someone you trust know where you will be, then decide together what happens next.
Guys Worth a Second Look
A handful of the men on the site. Join and your matches will show you who is local.
Join to see who is on the site near you.
Play Safe, Enjoy It More
Looking after your sexual health is part of the fun, not a passion-killer, so talk about it before you meet; the right man will be glad you asked.
- Condoms, every time. They are the best protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, so keep some with you.
- Regular tests. A sexual health clinic or your doctor can test you for HIV and other infections, and testing between new partners is a habit worth keeping.
- Ask about PrEP. It is a medicine that helps prevent HIV in people at higher risk. A sexual health clinic can tell you whether it suits you and how to get it.
None of this needs to be awkward. A quick ‘when were you last tested?’ is normal, grown-up and, frankly, quite attractive.
Respect Is the Real Turn-On
Discretion only works when everyone gives it. Never share another man’s photos, name or messages, and never out anyone, however a meet turns out.
Consent is simple: ask, listen and take no for an answer. A yes to a drink is not a yes to anything else, and anyone can change their mind at any point. Straight curious guys may want to go slowly, so let them set the pace.
Fancy sending a cheeky picture? Ask first. Explicit images are blurred with a warning anyway, but asking is better manners. If someone crosses a line, block him and report him from inside the site. Our safety page covers the rest.
Straight Talk About Men Meeting Men
Is My Bisexual Secret a gay dating site?
No. It is for bisexual and bi curious people, and men can look for men, women, couples or any mix. Gay men are welcome, and so are straight men who are curious.
What does m4m mean?
Men for men: a man looking to meet another man. The shorthand comes from personal ads. Here, ticking Male under who you want to meet does the same job.
Can men with a partner at home look for men here?
Yes, if you are 18 or over. Everyone gets the same privacy: a username, your nearest town and, with VIP, a bank statement that never names the site. What you share with your partner is your decision, and our guide for anyone bi curious and attached lays out the honest options.
How do I see only men?
Tick Male, and nothing else, under who you want to meet. Your daily matches take that choice into account, and VIP filters narrow things further by city, distance and what someone is open to.
How do I know a guy is real?
Look for the blue tick: he has passed an ID check. Each man also has a rating built from his behaviour and other members’ feedback. More on how members are checked.