Guide

Bisexual Dating Terms: A Plain-English Glossary

The words you will meet on bi profiles, and what people mean by them.

Identity words such as heteroflexible and biromantic, health shorthand such as MSM, slang such as on the down low and unicorn, and the tags members pick here: these are the bisexual dating terms you are most likely to see, in plain English. Where a dictionary, a bi group or a health body has defined a word, we quote it.

Labels are tools, not rules. Use the ones that help you say what you want, and ignore the rest.

Words for Who You Are Drawn To

Bi+ and the bi umbrella: The Bisexual Resource Center defines bi+ as “An umbrella term that includes all people who experience any kind of attraction to more than one gender”. The Center notes that people under it might also use words like “multisexual, omnisexual, polysexual, heteroflexible, or queer”. How bi and pan compare is in our guide to bisexual vs pansexual.
Biromantic: Romantic attraction to more than one gender. Dictionary.com defines it as “noting or relating to a person who is romantically attracted to people of more than one gender, sometimes understood to include attraction to one’s own gender and at least one other gender.” Romantic and sexual attraction don’t always travel together: the Trevor Project notes that some asexual people use terms like biromantic to describe their orientation.
Heteroflexible: Mostly straight, but not entirely. Dictionary.com’s definition is “(of a person) predominantly heterosexual but not exclusively so”, and bi.org files it under the bi umbrella.
Homoflexible: The reverse: mostly drawn to your own sex, with the odd attraction to the opposite one. Bi.org counts this under the bi umbrella too. How both compare with being curious is in our guide to what bi curious means.

Shorthand and Slang on Bi Profiles

MSM: Men who have sex with men. It is a public health term for what people do rather than who they are. UNAIDS uses it for men who have sex with other men whether or not they also have sex with women or call themselves gay or bi, adding that “it also includes men who self-identify as heterosexual but who have sex with other men.” UNAIDS itself would rather the words were spelled out, and keeps the abbreviation for charts and graphs.
WSW and WSWM: Women who have sex with women, and women who have sex with women and men. Like MSM, these are labels from health guidance, not identities. The US CDC says “WSW and WSWM comprise diverse groups with variations in sexual identity, practices, and risk behaviors.”
On the down low (DL): Kept secret. Dictionary.com gives on the down-low as “(of a man) secretly or discreetly engaging in sex with other men”, or more generally “done secretly or in a discreet manner”, and says the term was first recorded between 1990 and 1995. If someone tells you they are DL, take it as a request for discretion.
Unicorn: Dating slang, which Dictionary.com defines as “a bisexual woman who joins an established heterosexual couple in a sexual encounter or relationship.”
Unicorn hunting: A couple’s search for a unicorn. If you are the couple, say so in your first message and treat her as someone with her own wishes and limits, not a missing piece of your plans. If you are the one being asked, a polite no is always enough. Our page on bisexual couples covers how pairs meet people here.

Tags You Can Pick on My Bisexual Secret

These are the profile interests members choose from, and how they read in practice.

Bisexual, Bicurious and Straight: How you see yourself today. Pick the one that fits now and change it whenever that changes.
Straight Curious: Straight so far, and curious about the same sex. It lets you explore without calling yourself bi.
Bud Friend: A regular buddy rather than a string of strangers: the same mate to have fun with again, without labels or drama.
Discreet Meets: Privacy first. Anyone replying knows to keep it quiet, from the first message to the meet itself.
First Time Encounter: You haven’t done this before, so whoever replies knows to take it slowly. Our guide to your first bi experience helps you plan it.
Experienced meets: You have done this before and know what you like.
One on one fun: Just you and one other person.
Couple fun: For couples who want to meet people together, on their shared Couple profile.
Chat Only: Talking is all you are after, for now at least, so nobody should push for a meet.
I am and I am looking for: The two questions on the sign-up form. Each offers Male, Female, Couple and CD/TRANS, the option for trans and crossdressing members, and under I am looking for you can tick as many as you like.

The rest of the site is on the features page, and bi guys can see the tags at work on our page for bisexual men.

Pick Your Tags

Quick Definitions People Look Up

What does heteroflexible mean?

Mostly straight, but not exclusively so, in Dictionary.com’s definition. Bi.org counts it as one of the identities under the bi umbrella.

What does DL mean on a dating profile?

DL is short for on the down low. Dictionary.com gives two meanings: men who secretly or discreetly have sex with other men, and more generally anything kept secret or low-profile. Either way, keep their secret.

What is a unicorn in bisexual dating?

In Dictionary.com’s slang definition, a unicorn is a bisexual woman who joins an established straight couple, for one encounter or an ongoing arrangement. Unicorn hunting is the couple’s search for one.

What does MSM stand for?

Men who have sex with men. UNAIDS uses it as a health term covering men who have sex with other men whatever label they use, including men who call themselves straight.

What is a Bud Friend?

Bud Friend is a profile tag on My Bisexual Secret for someone who wants a regular buddy to have fun with, the same person more than once, without labels or drama.

Learned the Lingo? Now Say Hello

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